Hark! This is the night
When Big Red Arthur tries to make it right
I, I was a child
I couldn’t read, but I could sing
And this is where, Big Red Arthur..
Slides down the chimney and lands on spikes
He lands on spikes (He lands on spikes!)
He will never, ever, see Christmas!
Ha!

And every single one of you business men
Who dines on your foie gras tonight
Drop drawers and count to ten
With a finger in your mouth: you bite!
Sometimes you watch the news
And you see terrible things
Sometimes you’ve got to choose
Which crook the hangman swings
And I know Big Red Arthur is laughing
As he bids adieu, to this hideous world

Boxing Day, Mum and Dad
Explain police tape
It’s all so sad
And lies, more of the same
And the gifts that we were promised
Never came
So I, took a walk outside
Threw rocks at windows and passed the time
I passed the time (I passed the time!) (Time!)
And I shall always never forget this

When suddenly a chill upon my neck took form
As a bird made out of fire and snakes…
And he gave me a strangest peck he says
‘Let’s go out for tea and cakes’
Sometimes you roll the dice, sometimes the dice roll you
Christmas can be so nice but it can be awful too
And I know somewhere out there!
There’s another Big Red Arthur
Greasing up his body…
To come down the flue!

*Thank you, you’re very special. Thank you very much. It’s incredible. Tonight is a reunion. Two or three years ago we did a movie about the Roulette Stars and so many of the people are here tonight, people came from all over the world to be in the movie. Song number four – where’s the young Irish man? Irish man! Come on up. He’s double-dipped on Electric Six. This is ? John Carroll from Dublin, Ireland. All the way from Ireland, elected to spend St. Patrick’s Day in Detroit instead of Ireland. The decision he made. He’s going to be joining us for song number four, playing the Vibraslap, which was purchased at the Guitar Centre in West ?. Song number four is off one of the records.*