Escape from Ohio

Escape From Ohio [3:11]

There were twenty, maybe twenty-five of us
Drivin’ out to California in a bus
We were lookin’ for a good time
And a radio station we could trust

Suddenly we heard an angry thud
And our mighty chariot turned into a dud
We were stopped there in our tracks man
Adjacent to some cows chewin’ their cud

Lord please send some mercy down to me
(Fifty miles south of Bowling Green)
This will clearly never be my scene
(Why does every city start with C?)
There’s only one sure thing that I know
I’ve got to get out of Ohio
’til then I’ll never feel love

They say that what you give is what you gonna get
Then it’s no wonder everything’s gone to shi
’cause they’re givin’ us John Boehner
And you better believe they’re givin’ us Jean Schmidt

Now the floodgates of hell have opened wide
And it’s a bad idea, all politics aside
To go and roll out Joe the Plumber
Just to make sure our minds get properly fried

Lord be merciful and let me die
(Fifteen miles south of Lodi)
Round on both ends and the middle’s high
(What’s so great about a buckeye?)
Pulled by its riptide and undertow
There’s no escaping from Ohio
I’ll never get to feel love

The walls there are closin’ in
And I’m just in sight of Michigan
The only way that I’ll attain ya
Is if I get over to Pennsylvania

Except for GBV and Devo
Nothing seems to redeem Ohio
It is the state that killed my love

(Hey!) Don’t you wanna come with me?
(Hey!) And make a break for Kentucky
(Hey!) I still got somethin’ to put in ya
(Hey!) But we’ll have to go to West Virginia
And I’ve heard great things about Indiana too

Notes: The states mentioned all border Ohio.
Though it is not as well known as the one in Kentucky, there is a Bowling Green in Ohio.
Lodi, Ohio is on the border with West Virginia; to be south of it would put you into Mothman territory.
A riddle among schoolchildren in the areas surrounding Ohio is “Which state is high in the middle and round on both ends?
The answer is a play on the spelling of Ohio – O-HI-O.
John Boehner and Jean Schmidt are both members of Congress for Ohio.
Joe the Plumber became part of American political history when asking then-candidate Barack Obama, who was campaigning in Ohio at the time, whether his taxes would go up. Joe went on to campaign for Republican nominee John McCain.

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